Looking at the Typical Work Day with Humor as a Lens

I don't know about the rest of you, but last week was a very long week- one of those weeks where I know I've fully earned every penny of my check. Sometimes things get to stressful, you just have to stop and laugh at it all. I've been reserving this post for a while, waiting for the best occasion to share this material with you all; in fact, I recorded and saved much of this before I even made this blog, on the off chance that I would make a blog. Funny how life works.

So, speaking of funny, I'd like to give the rest of you out there in cyber space just a glimpse of the things I'm exposed to on a daily basis while doing my job as a gothic optician. I give you,

 Things Said to the Gothic Optician by the General Public

 ~because common sense isn't all that common, after all~

 "The screw fell out of my lens. I got it from you, so my warranty should give me another frame!"
No, that's not how that works. There's nothing wrong with your glasses, and I think you mean 'frame.'

[Back when I had bangs]"You look like that girl off uh, um, uh, whatzit, CSI!"
It's NCIS, but thank you, I'm flattered you think I resemble Abby.

"You have nice hair, like Elvira. Damn she looks good."
Yes, yes she does, and thank you, redneck trucker who smells of whiskey yet wears a Budweiser cap.  

"My frame is broken. Can you pop this shape of lenses into a different frame?" 
No. Lenses are made for the frame you pick out, that is, specially cut out in a lab to fit the shape of the eyewire. The shapes are as unique as finger prints.
*picks up a frame* "How about this one?"
*facepalm* You can be here all day. No, it doesn't fit that frame. Nor that frame. That's not even the same shape. That's a drill mount. No. 

 "I was trimming my bush and I bent my shaft."
Um.. what do I even say to that? First of all, it's a temple, not a 'shaft.'


"I dropped my glasses and the middle part snapped in half and the arms flew off"
Uh, huh.. I'm not going to give you a physics lecture, but the gravity would have to be close to that of Jupiter for that to even happen. 


"I was cleanin' my lenses all gentle-like and the lens cracked in two!"
You, madame, have the strength of the Incredible Hulk. 

"I lost my glasses on the bus!"
Why weren't they on your head?
"Because I wasn't driving!"

*on a cell phone* "YEAH, I BE HERE AT DA EYE DOCS. I WANNA LOOK HOLLYWOOD. IMMA SEE IF MEDICAID WILL BUY ME THIS SEAN JEAN FRAME!"
Not on your life, dude. 

"My transitions don't work inside."
Well, technically, they are working inside. They don't turn dark inside because they're not supposed to.

"My reading glasses give me a headache when I look at something far away. I can't see anything when I drive!"
That's because, as the name suggests, for reading.

"My driving classes make my head hurt when I try to read and the words are all blurry!"
Same as above.

"Why can't I buy these $300 dollar frames on Medicaid? The government's greedy!"
I'm not even sure how to answer this, so I won't.

"I sleep on your doorstep some nights. Can I get an appointment. My eyes is real dry,
I have to put them close to onions to make them feel better."
I'm not even sure how to respond to this.

"You've.. really nice black nail polish.. damn baby girl, really nice. I bet your toes is black too, ain't they?"
You're old enough to be my grandpa and you smell like pot.

*phone call* "yeah, I uh, I got a phone call from you guys the other day.."
...and?
"you all said my glasses were ready to be picked up.."
....mhm, and?
"well are they?"
No, we were totally messing with you.

Speaking of the general public, God bless 'em, I think now would be a great time to clear up some misconceptions about the lingo used in an eye doctor's office.

General Public Says                                                      Correct Term
Spring-loaded                                                                 Spring Hinge
Arm (or shaft)                                                                  Temple
Frame                                                                               Lenses
Lenses                                                                              Frame
No-line Bifocal                                                              Progressive Addition Lenses
Progressives                                                                   Transitions
Cleanin' Thingies                                                          Cleaning Cloths
Nose Thing                                                                     Nose Pads
The Medicine                                                                 Prescription
Box                                                                                  Glasses Case

One last bit of LOL for you all now, is a clip that should be on EVERY job description for every occupation in the optical business. Many of you may laugh at this clip, or not realize just how realistic that is. For those of us who know first hand- opticians, technicians, paraoptometrics, optometrists, and opthalmalogists- it's part of the job. Yes, people like this do exist.

Hilarious, but I'm sure it's hard to believe. Again, yes, there are people like this.

Have a great week everyone,
Sea, the Gothic Optician, A.B.O.C.

Quite the Spectacle! Eyewear-Related Body Mods~ PART II

Warmest weekend greetings, darklings!

I first want to start off saying that this time is my absolute favorite time of  year, and I'm in a great mood. Because of this, I will be posting not just one, but two topics this weekend.

As  you may have guessed from the title, I actually managed to find one more body mod, that, while not necessarily related to eyewear, is most definitely related to the eyes. The following is certainty *not* for the squeamish; in fact, despite considering myself to be tough as nails, I cringe at the thought of having this procedure done on myself. That having been said, I think the end result is rather cool, though I would NEVER recommend it due to the great risk involved.

I actually came across this particular mod because I was Googling ideas for an eye tattoo for myself, something along the lines of Alex Grey's work, or perhaps an Eye of Horus. After searching for a little less than half an hour, I decided to broaden my search to "eye tattoo."

 

During this search, I found a link to a story about two prison inmates who have tattooed the scleras (whites) of their eyes. I'll give you a moment to ruminate that for a second. Permanent ink. Injected. Into their eyes (as so eloquently put, the groin of the head). Oh yeah, and in prison. 

 Although the blue color isn't my cup of tea, I rather like the red.

 It appears that scleral tattooing is really something that people do. The two prisoners aren't the only ones to have this modification; this seems to be something that's starting to catch on, as my research has shown. Let me sum up the excerpt  from the wikipedia page, just to let it sink in a little more as to just how hardcore this truly is.

"The tattoo artist tried two different procedures, the first covering the needle with ink and puncturing the eye."
 This procedure failed, however the second procedure, in which "the sclera was injected with blue dye" proved to be much more successful.

Although there are few nerve endings in the injection site, it still doesn't seem to be a walk in the park, especially when considering the possible side effects of "some blisters between the sclera and conjunctiva {...}infection, perforation, and hemorrhage" and of course, the ever-present risk of blindness.

Source: Bizarre Magazine

Aside from the omniscient collection of data that we so affectionately call Wikipedia, I was fortunate enough to come across an article with some extra details. It's believed that this technique has been around for quite some time, perhaps as early as the late 1800's for medical reasons. Although this article was interesting, I can't help but feel like one of the gentlemen, Shannon, really didn't know what he was talking about, stating that “The eye is very resilient; you can put almost anything in it. Your eye actually is designed to be able to handle contaminants being there.” Granted, yes, the eye *is* designed to flush out impurities by creating tears and flushing them out of the lacrimal ducts, but this is something that happens naturally and externally. Also, if this tattooing technique has been around since only the late 1800's/1900's, that most definitely DOES NOT make it "one of the oldest forms of tattooing."

Irezumi out-dates scleral tattooing only by a couple of thousand years.

 Ranting and correcting aside, I have to hand it to him for having the huevos to get this bold and risky modification.

This handsome gentleman has opted for a feline yellow tint..

...while this young fella prefers cerulean ink.

I also happened to find another article crediting a man in Toronto as being the very first to have this procedure, though I couldn't find a name. Judging by the comments, this article is from some time in 2008. Let me again elaborate just how extreme this mod is. 

"It took 40 injections of blue ink in order to complete this procedure. Pigment was injected under the top layer of the eye using a syringe. The syringe injected the ink into the eye. At first they had tried a traditional needle with ink on it, but when the ink didn't hold, they switched to the syringe."

Now, I've saved the best for last. There's nothing like curling up with a nice video.

I personally like the color combination in this video best of all the others I've seen. The black ink contrasts stunningly with this gentleman's already beautiful light hazel eyes.

So there you have it, readers. I didn't think I'd be making a part II after the original article, since it seems that eye wear (and eye care) and body mods rarely overlap. Perhaps I'll find more material to post a part III over mods and eyes.

As I mentioned, there will be a bonus topic this weekend, so keep on the lookout!

Until then my spookies, stay safe and refracted,
Sea, the Gothic Optician, A.B.O.C.

Eyewear Lust: The Temptations of the Workplace

Hello friends and happy Autumnal Equinox! That means Christmas isn't too far away (though not until after we celebrate the greatest goth holiday ever) and wishlists are growing. I myself have a glasses wishlist, so I thought this week would be a great time to post about the wonderfully tempting fashions that I'm surrounded by on a daily basis and at the same time, give some great examples of frames that would more than definitely appeal to goths and gothically inclined individuals.

This may perhaps be the first of many "Eyewear Lust" posts for the simple fact that I am continually finding great frame options. I may post a few stock images, but for the most part, I would like to model the frames just to give a better idea of the size and fit-- plus, it's fun!

 ECO 1079 by Modo Eyewear

The first frame on my Eyewear lust list is the fabulously funky ECO 1079 by Modo (my favorite brand!). This style didn't catch my attention all that much until my interview with the lovely Ms. Kaira.  She mentioned that her favorite style of glasses are winged glasses with gems. Although extreme wing shapes are quite rare, slightly less angular cat eye shapes are becoming increasingly accessible. I never considered myself much of a cat eye girl (despite cats being my spiritual totem animal) because when it comes to style, even within the realms of gothic fashions, I tend to gravitate more towards simple and toned down as opposed to wild and bold. Basically, it's easy to assume whether I'll be wearing basic black or zebra stripes to a shindig. Back to the frame, the bridge fit very comfortably on my nose (though remember, all noses are different, so it's always best to try for yourself). The look is elegant, but still a rather eccentric and wild-- shiny black plastic with really cool sparklies on the edges. Sometimes people change, so I actually would consider buying this frame, but unfortunately, because my prescription is so high (approximately -6.75), I'm afraid my eyes would look super tiny behind such a wide lens; not to mention, the weight of the lens would more than likely become uncomfortable after a few hours. 

The quirkiness of this frame kind of reminds me of something Penelope from Criminal Minds would wear.

Looking adorable as always <3

As you can see from this online site, it comes in a few other colors, but you all can probably guess what my color preference is. ;)

Anne Klein 8102 by Marchon Eyewear

Let's call this one the more conservative little sister of Eco 1079-- she has all the catty attitude of big sis, but she's more demure and less flashy. I like this one quite a bit actually, despite the rather plain metal temples, for the simple fact that it would go much better with my prescription.. and I suppose also because it would go well with all occasions, even those super serious occasions where we simply could not take her big sister for fear she would ruin the gathering with her boisterous tone of conversation and excessive drinking. Fret not, 1079, you're still the one we'd invite to a rave! Much like the 1079, the Anne Klein 8102 is a very comfortable bridge fit and I think fits my face rather nicely. Also like 1079, AK 8102 comes in a variety of colors.

ECO1087 by Modo Eyewear

I had to give this all time favorite another shout out. Look familiar? It should- I have this frame with my prescription in a beautiful candy red color, but this basic black color is oh so tempting!! I've gotten lots of compliments from strangers on my red frame. You must admit, it is definitely a head-turner and extremely unique. The first time I saw it, a bit over a year ago, I immediately fell in love because the cut of it reminded me of barbed wire from a distance. The nose pieces are extremely comfortable, though I have replaced them with softer generic ones for ultimate comfort. I was also pleasantly surprised how nicely my RX fit into the semi-rimless style (using a very high-index lens material for minimum lens thickness); this lens shape and size is excellent for us moderately nearsighted goths! It also makes the minimization that occurs with high minus prescriptions less noticeable since there's nothing along the bottom to make your eyes look, as my coworker cleverly said, "boxed in."

Rosana by Candies Eyewear

This one is a nice, simple style great for any occasion. This one is probably a distant cousin to my beloved Rihanna frame by the same brand. Comfortable bridge fit, but to be honest, this size was a little tight on my head. Nothing adjusting couldn't fix a little, but I'd rather not customize products that aren't actually mine. :p

Rihanna in black and purple

Rosana in clear and black

Actually, this shows a great example of a bad frame fit. This style runs small, as you can see by the indentations in the side of my head. Very nice option for a petite goth girl, however.The tiny flower designs in the side make it fun and flirty (one of the reasons I love the same style in my Rihanna frame).


Taka 2655 by Hart

In addition to being *very* cost effective (one of our least expensive brands) this little gem is also rather unisex. The metal frame is rather comfortable, though I'm not crazy about the harsh angular shape- I think it may actually look fantastic on a male model. Taka 2655 would be great for higher prescriptions such as my own with both its size and the thick metal eyewire, ideal in hiding the edge thickness of the lens. We have black with red in stock at our clinic, however, I did discover it also comes in purple. Unfortunately, I have reason to believe this model is discontinued. It's not impossible to find it, but it's not very easy. I haven't even found a site that showcases the black with red version.

Versace 4192 by Luxottica

I'm not really a fan of the gigantic sunglasses that are popular right now, to be 100% honest. They're a little too retro for my tastes; if anything, I prefer the smaller Matrix-style shades. In this case, though, I do make an exception! This is a very comfortable style, and you can't argue that it won't give good coverage on sunny days.  I don't care much for labels.. and fortunately, rather than writing their name, Versace has opted to use a different mark on their sun glasses.

A Medusa head! How very Gawth! ^.^

Needless to say, the beautiful purple and black pattern was was truly drew me to these shades.

I haven't decided if I'm going to splurge and get these some day, but I do rather like how they look. However, I want to keep in mind that the giant glasses are just a fad rather than a classic look, and in a few years they may look silly, despite the striking pattern on the temple and insides.

I guess the size is a little endearing. Makes me think of something the gentlemen of Depeche Mode wore. Very gawth indeed!

And there you have it, my lovelies! These are but a few of the great styles to which I am constantly exposed. I'll be sure to post more treasures as I find them. Thanks for reading, and as always, if you have a certain frame style in mind you'd like me to hunt down, don't hesitate to leave a request in the comments.

Cheers,
Sea, the Gothic Optician, A.B.O.C.

Ps. Yes, I am wearing green scrubs today. I typically wear these on payday, but they're very comfortable, so I wore them today. Still very 'goth' when matched with the right accessories. :p

September: Featured Goth in Glasses

Good evening, goths, visually impaired goths, visually impaired non-goths, and non-goths just here for the good pictures!

I've had the fabulous opportunity for some one-on-one Q&A with one of my all-time favorite goths who just so happens to wear glasses! The talented and creative Ms. Kaira Th1rte3n was so gracious to answer a few questions about her own eyewear and dark sense of fashion.

Kaira Th1rte3n of Th1rte3n's Closet has been in the market of creating fun and morbid accessories for quite some time now. Her etsy shop has been up and running since 2008. There you will find a delightful spread of bows, earrings, Xmas ornaments, scrunchies, Deadly Bears, and the increasingly popular "BatPacks." Ms. Th1rte3n occupies a booth every year at Bat's Day Black Market in California. Fun side fact: she has been an assistant to Voltaire and his booth at DesignerCon- that's right, *the* Voltaire! She also now has her very own website for her creations-- Th1rte3n's Closet. 

Th1rte3n's Closet is a company where you can find all sorts of one of a kind and hand made items made by artist Th1rte3n. Deadly Bears are one of a kind hand made teddy bears with a dead twist. All Deadly Bears are dead, undead, vampire, or zombie.

Of course, I could be a bit biased, since she happens to cater to the tastes of a certain gothic optician.

  

Sea: How long have you been wearing glasses?  
Kaira: Since I was 2 1/2 years old.

S: How long have you considered yourself a goth?  
K: WOW, that is kinda a trick question. I started diving into the goth sub-culture at 15 but didnt conside myself goth. (I had a hard time with putting a label on myself) It wasn't until I was 17 that I embraced the label and started calling myself a goth.

 

S: What's your favorite music?  
K: I love a lot of types of goth music, like darkwave, deathrock, Industrial, Dark Cabaret , and steampunk, but I also love music like normal Cabaret, Musicals, and Punk music.

S: What's your favorite accessory?  
K: I love earrings! All types of earrings.

S: Favorite goth cliche:
K: All goths wear black, I mean we do, but I wear LOTS more than just black

S: Most disliked goth cliche:  
K: That we are all stuck up. Yes, its true, many are stuck up, but many aren't; many are so nice, and smile more then frown.
 

 

S:  Favorite style of glasses:  
K: WINGED glasses! With gems if you can find them! :) But they're so hard to find when ever I am looking for glasses.

S: Favorite famous goth:
K: Voltaire!!! He's the man! 

S: Speaking of Voltaire, what was it like getting to meet him personally?
K: He's a really nice guy, and cares about his fans, too. He takes the time to get to know his fans. In fact, he remembers me when I see him, (That's always something to make a fan smile. ) so he has become more than just a idol to me, he is also a role model, as I now take the time to get to know my customers and try my best to always remember them.


S: Favorite person who wears glasses:
K: My two best friends, they more than often keep me sane and are always there for me.

A trio of spectacled beauties in black--what's not to love?

S: Got any stories involving your glasses?
K: A few years ago on World Goth Day, I was going out with some friends to the Bar Sinister to have some fun. I was there and already had a few drinks, I was posing for a photo with some friends (I had my glasses in my hand, I took them off to show off my nice makeup job) when I tripped and landed on them and gave them a huge scratch along one lens. I had to wear them like that for over 2 months. Fiasco was the word for that situation.

S: So what made you decide to say "Okay, I'm going to start my own business" one fateful day? 
K: I really don't know what possessed me to think I could start my own business, must have been the hubby telling me I could-- I don't think I would have done it with out him.

S: What are some of the biggest challenges you've faced running your own business?
K: Starting your own business is hard. There are start up costs and fees and not to mention getting yourself out there. I have been doing this for four years and I still am not "out there" enough for my own liking. And it's always hard to get yourself out there. But if its your dream you must not give up. Hold on until the very end. 

S: Those are some very inspiring words! Are there any new products you plan on selling in the future?
K: OH yes! Oh so much is coming to the shop, including Day of the Dead necklaces, oh and a whole bunch of Harry Potter themed items, and way more.

S: As we wrap things up here, is there any advice you'd like to give to other spectacle wearers out there?
K: Wear your glasses if you want to. I have always been told about getting contacts, but if you're not comfortable in them-like I am not comfortable in them- be proud and wear your glasses with style.

So there you have it, readers- stylish and cool goths with refractive errors are out there, and it's my goal to introduce you to many more interesting and charming gothic gouls and boys each month. I chose Kaira to be my very first Featured Goth in Glasses not only because of her impressive sense of style, and because she is quite the savvy business woman, but because she's a very dear friend, and I'm exceedingly grateful to her for graciously answering my prying questions. (hehe) I have a few more goths (and goth-kind) lined up, but if you yourself are, or if you know a goth who wears glasses, be it only at home, or constantly, and would like to be a Featured Goth in Glasses, please let me know in the comments below.



Until next time my spookies,
Sea, the Gothic Optician A.B.O.C.

Quite the Spectacle! Eyewear-Related Body Mods

There's no denying that body mods are a huge part of gothic culture- heck, it's beginning to become part of many cultures; for that matter, it's been custom in countless cultures for millenia. Anymore it is increasingly common to see a wide range of inked and pierced individuals- from the bikers with the elaborate and striking tattoo sleeves, to the soccer mom with a tiny rose on her ankle, to the old man at the store with Navy markings on his forearms, to even the occasional sorority girl with a gold nose piercing.

 

 I myself have sported a few modifications; over the years I've had (and retired *sniff*) 11 piercings and just recently I got a tattoo, with which I am still very much enamored. I'm going to expand the one I have in a few weeks and who knows, I may get some things re-pierced.

Ear piercings, 2011.

Eyebrow piercing, 2010.

Tattoo outline, 2012.

Finished tattoo.

 I've come across two articles involving a marriage of body modification and eyewear. The first was a part of a presentation over spectacles in college; humorously enough, everyone looked at me during the this part of the lecture because I had *just* gotten 3 piercings that previous weekend. The second, however,  I actually found while perusing WTFtattoos.com. Yes, I do have some eclectic guilty pleasures.

This first mod, the pierced eye glasses, is one that I would actually get if not for the professional dress code requirements at work.. that and the availability at this point. I think this concept is absolutely brilliant and in theory would work well with the gothic aesthetic. 

 Nevertheless, it appears that these are still yet to be made available to the public.

And here is another link just for your reading pleasure. 

The second modification, however, ventures into a territory that I don't think I could tread personally.  I have mixed feelings about this one; it's not my cup of tea, but at the same time, I fully encourage this young man, and everyone else for that matter, to express himself in any way he chooses.

I must confess, he picked a good brand. Ray Ban's are super hot right now.

Thus far, these are the only instances I have found of some sort of combination of spectacles and mods. If anyone else knows of any others, please feel free to leave a comment.

Until Next Time,
Sea, the Gothic Optician, A.B.O.C.